One of my high school classmates posted a book on Facebook about guiding teenage girls as they transition into adulthood. It’s called Untangled by Lisa Damour, a clinical psychologist out of Ohio. I have a rather quiet week, and I need to catch up on expanding my resources. So, I checked the book out of library and started to read. I thought it would be helpful with my Zen Bride workshop as we talk through the roles we play, and consider when we became women.
And then yesterday, in a pre-marital counseling session, we tackled the topic of Family Relationships. It was clear that some of the experiences this couple had during childhood subtly affected some of their behaviors now. So, these beliefs were present during the transition into adulthood. Is this surprising? Not really. However, it’s not the work I do. I am clear to say that I am not a therapist. I look at the present, ask where my couples want to go, and we brainstorm ways to get there. Normally, I don’t spend time in the past. But yesterday, I was able to call out a few links, and they became ‘a-ha’ moments for my couple.
While I’m only in Chapter 1 of Untangled, it’s clear that I will pick up some new vocabulary looking back into the past – into childhood. This will illuminate the behavior that some of my brides had as they transitioned into adulthood. And that awareness will help me to release some of their residual confusion, negativity and shame as they become wives. Lots to learn, lots to ponder, but powerful, powerful stuff. Let’s start with a little reflection and move forward. Care to join me?
1. Strong coffee
2. Time with family
3. the library
4. Open windows
5. A visit from the exterminator
1. Booked 3 more weddings and 2 new counseling couples this week
2. Bought groceries with no plastic packaging
3. Planned meals, made 1 main and 2 sides AND did all of the dishes!
4. Got a mani/pedi!
5. Being able to say ‘no’
1. Return to a regular yoga practice
2. Replace my filing cabinet
3. Slightly warmer temperature – um, I’m not ready for fall!
4. Approval from the building to start construction
5. no more mosquito bites or bites from Maxie!
Okay folks, that’s it. Now it’s up to you. How about you take a moment to reflect and write your own lists? Extra points if you add them below.