On my counseling in-take form, I ask my couples how they prefer their partner reacts when they’re scared or hurting. It’s usually an easy question for each individual to answer and it clarifies WHAT’S NEEDED in THE MOMENT. The bigger question is however, is their partner ACTUALLY doing it. Some don’t even know there’s a preference and some assume that what they need, is the same need as their partner.
But it got me thinking that I really must be aware of what’s needed, too. Inevitably during counseling sessions one or both of the couple expresses fear or hurt in some way. In those cases, I have to be the best advocate for my couples and figure out what’s needed in a given moment. And usually it’s shutting my mouth and just listening. I must allow my couples to share without judgement and get their fears or anxieties out on the table, so they can be viewed and contemplated and dealt within their own time.
How can you be a strong advocate for someone else? How can you figure out what’s needed in a given moment? How can you be a better listener?
During this reflection is an excellent time to remember the good things around us. Here are my weekly lists. Care to join me?
1. Nine inquiries this week, and 3 wedding couple bookings
2. Having a clean kitchen sink, since I loaded my DISHWASHER!
3. Getting stronger in the peak pose I chose for my yoga class
4. Leaving my home today when I didn’t have to – I know, I know the little things!
5. Being up to date on my administrative tasks
1. Creating and send a newsletter for my 2019 couples
2. Strengthening my support circle
3. To be COMPLETELY finished with my renovation
4. To plan my first “weekly” dinner
5. To do my first yoga home practice over the weekend
1. Slightly warmer temps
2. Free hair services
3. A working washing machine & dryer in my apartment
4. Strong coffee & red wine
5. Great colleagues and collaborators
Okay folks, that’s it! Here’s to expressing and knowing what’s needed. But more importantly, here’s to a fulfilling week.