Why Isn't My Partner a Mindreader?
We live in a fast-paced world and our smart phones are always on and always close by. We can retrieve information lightening fast. That may be good for getting news or answers quickly, but deeper communication with those close to us has suffered. We are starting to lose our sense of intuition because we just don't have time. We don't have time to wait, or read a full article and we certainly don't have time to fully listen.I have had a number of couples in the last few months struggle with communication. Most of the time, they are super clear in knowing exactly what the issues are, but they fail to express it to their partner. The funny thing is, most of those partners know exactly what their fiance or spouse needs, but are waiting for a request. And so nothing gets done.
Newsflash: Your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife is NOT a mindreader.
While it would certainly be easier to avoid all conflict, we're just not telepathic. Things happen. Little things, big things. Our habits change. Sometimes for the better, sometimes not.So, what do we do?If you want open and clear communication with your beloved, put down your phone, tablet, close your computer and talk face-to-face.If something is bothering you, don't let it fester. Discuss it with your partner or schedule a time to talk about it when it's convenient for you both.
Do your best to release emotion and let go of any blame. VERBALLY express what you need and make a CLEAR request. Then LISTEN for a response.Don't be afraid to negotiate and allow yourselves to take breaks if emotion creeps back in or you need time to process.
Conversely, if something is clearly bothering your partner, help him or her out and gently ask what's wrong and what he or she needs.
Always LISTEN first and foremost, fully and completely before responding.And lastly, don't forget to share the good the stuff, too! Sure, it's hard to calmly talk about what's been driving you crazy, but often times we forget to give praise, gratitude and appreciation. You love your partner, right? So let him or her know!
Feel free to share your experience and ask questions in the comment section below. And of course, if the conversation proves too difficult you may want to reach out to a trusted friend, a counselor or a therapist to have an unbiased ear in the room.