Why Am I So Stressed Before My Wedding?
Getting married is certainly exciting, but it can also be incredibly stressful. Wedding planning involves a lot of time, energy, and money. From finances to family, logistics to time management, it may be a lot to juggle. The pressure of wanting everything to be perfect doesn’t help. You may also have to manage everyone’s opinions and expectations, so it can be a challenge to stay calm!
Here are some common causes of wedding stress, the symptoms you may experience, and more importantly some coping strategies that may be helpful.
Causes of Wedding Stress
These tasks tend to bring stress into the planning process. You can also think of them as a great to-do list!
Finding the venue: Finding the perfect venue that can accommodate all your requirements is one of the top stressors. Is it available on your chosen date? Is it easy to get to? Are there hotel or lodging options nearby?
Creating and managing the budget: Weddings are expensive affairs. You might find that certain things you had your heart set on are beyond your budget, which can be disappointing. So it’s important to create a wedding budget, and talk through finances with any family members who may be contributing.
Creating the guest list: Deciding who to invite, and more importantly, who not to invite can be difficult. Depending on your budget and the venue, you may not be able to accommodate everyone you would have liked to have at your wedding. This may cause some difficult conversation and painful decsions.
Sending out wedding invites and managing RSVPs: Once you’ve decided on your invitees, you need to send them wedding invites in a timely fashion. This timeline can be stressful. While some people are prompt to respond, you may find yourself following up repeatedly with others. That way you can get a final headcount and create a seating chart.
Selecting and coordinating with vendors: From the cake and flowers to the planners and photographers, wedding planning involves working with multiple vendors. To begin with, find the ones that you want to work with and that are within your budget. Then, communicating what you want, and trusting them to execute your vision can be additionally stressful.
Managing expectations: Perhaps the hardest part of the wedding planning process is managing expectations — yours, your partner’s, and members of your family and friends.
While these are the big stressors, I would be remiss if I didn’t mention selecting your wedding looks - including dress and suit, hair & makeup and jewelry, choosing members of your wedding party, and planning the honeymoon. These can certainly challenge your calm during planning process.
Symptoms of Wedding Stress
Stress can take a toll on your system and manifest itself in both physical and mental way. From the inability to focus to constant worrying. From difficulty sleeping to headaches and other aches and pains. Listen to your body. Be aware of your emotional health. I encourage you to do what you can to be a Zen Bride or Zen Groom!
How to Manage Wedding Stress
As part of my Zen Bride workshop, we talk about how to manage stress. Here are some strategies that can help you cope with wedding stress, so you can indeed have a Zen Wedding! I’ve also written blog posts about each one, if you want to take a deeper dive!
Plan ahead: As you start the wedding planning process, it can be helpful to take the time to research your options. You can find inspiration online or ask your community for recommendations. Find a way to organize your research and tasks so you won’t be overwhelmed by all the choices. This can help make decision-making faster and easier.
Delegate responsibilities: Even if you may want to, it may not be possible for you to do everything yourself. Ask friends and family members for help and delegate some of the responsibilities. Share your ideas with them and trust them to handle things on your behalf. If your budget allows it, hire a wedding planner who can do some of the heavy lifting for you. Schedule regular calls or meetings to discuss any updates and track progress.
Practice self-care: During the wedding planning process, make it a point to get adequate sleep, eat a healthy diet, and exercise regularly. In addition to helping you stay fit and healthy, a self-care practice can help you cope better with stress. Perhaps you make time for meditation, take a relaxing bath, spend time with your friends and family, or go on date night with your fiance. In any case, it’s important to do things that make you feel relaxed and happy.
Set boundaries: Understand and accept that you will not be able to please everyone. This is may need to be repeated over and over again. No matter what you do, friends or family may like support your decisions. Therefore, it can be helpful to set boundaries at the outset. That way you can prevent unnecessary stress.
Practice positivity: Will everything you plan for your wedding turn out perfectly? Probably not. However if you are married at the end of the day, MISSION ACCOMPLISHED. If you find yourself experiencing negative thoughts or dwelling on "What if..." scenarios, it can be helpful to write down a list of positive affirmations and say them out loud every day. Do what you can to release any negativity and embrace joy.