5 Reasons to do Premarital Counseling
a couple sits on a couch in front of a counselor with a clipboard
The reasons couples come to me for premarital counseling are as diverse as the couples themselves. It pleases me to report that most couples do not reach out because they have major problems, although though some do. More often than not, they want to strengthen the relationship they already have, as they plan for the future.
Here are the top reasons that couples like YOU may benefit from premarital counseling!
1. Learn New Relationship Skills
A premarital counselor will not only enlighten you with their insight, but share resources and tools that can be used in the future when you need them. Some couples are looking for specific techniques now. With other couples, they're looking for tools down the road. For example, one of my recent couples knew they'd have to make some big decisions in the next 3 years. So we talked about some techniques they could add to their toolbox to make decisions easier later!
2. Talk About the Big Issues Ahead of Time
There are a number of topics that are important to discuss before marriage. Parenting, finances, and intimacy are a few of the topics that should be discussed for couples to be on the same page about their partnership. We go through them one by one, starting with those issues that affect a couple most. Together we create and share expectations and answer any questions you may have about how your partner feels about any of the Big Issues.
3. Improve Communication
Open and honest communication is the most basic element in any relationship. If you cannot communicate properly, you will not able to discuss any of the Big Issues listed above. A premarital counselor will help you express your needs effectively with your partner. Together we can create and clarify a list of needs, if you don't quite know where to start.
4. Prevent Divorce
One of the main functions of premarital counseling is to assist couples in building a stronger bond. This, in turn, builds trust in one another so you stay together in the long run. The divorce statistics are scary, but the way we calculate them is flawed. Most of the calculations ignore how many people are already married. So if 100 people get married this year and 100 people divorce, the divorce rate is 100 percent - but that's not true since they are not same people! Preventing divorce as a reason to do premarital counseling is most important if you are a child of divorce. You experienced it first hand, and you want to be able to avoid it, if possible, or not have it affect your children in any way.
5. Receive Neutral Opinions and Guidance
It's helpful to have unbiased guidance and advice from a professional who is completely trusted and experienced. You also get the chance to ask and share anything without the fear of being judged. Premarital counselors do not to take sides. The priority is on strengthening the relationship, so you can make the best decisions for yourselves and your marriage-to-be.
If you have comments or questions, please write them below. Or if I can be of assistance to you in any way, do not hesitate to reach out and let me know.