Finding Calm Before You Walk Down the Aisle
As an officiant, usually I see my couples start to get nervous just before the ceremony. They are calm brides and grooms all day, but things suddenly feel “real” as they see they friends and family arrive and start to take their seats.
You can be super prepared, but as soon as you’re ready to walk down the aisle, there's a good chance that your nerves will start to take over. You can release the anxiety and start your walk with confidence by using some of these quick tips.
Here are 4 Tips on how to find calm before walking down the aisle.
Validate your Nervousness
The first step in everything is always awareness. So, don’t try to deny your nerves, call them out. Also, try not to judge yourself for feeling stressed—as it's completely natural. You've probably spent a lot of time planning this day, so there's a good reason you're nervous. Before walking down the aisle, identify the reasons you’re feeling anxious. Maybe it's because you’ve waited for this moment for a long time, or because you’re so excited to be married. Perhaps you’re not sure what to expect, or you're worried about your vows! Once you’ve come to terms what’s fueling your nerves, it’ll be a lot easier to calm them down.
Find Some Alone Time
You wedding day will likely be full of preparation. There is a full timeline of getting dressed, taking photos, and checking in on family and friends. You will most likely be surrounded by people all day. So, by the time of the ceremony rolls around, you may be overwhelmed. In order to be a calm groom or bride, I highly recommend that you try to schedule a few moments to yourself right before walking down the aisle. Use this time to get a drink of water or go to the bathroom (though brides, you may need assistance with your dress!) Find a peaceful place, shut the door, close your eyes and collect yourself. Meditate, offer gratitude, read over your vows. Whatever you decide, it’ll be the perfect reset before your big moment, and it’ll help you separate wedding stress from marriage excitement.
Plan it Out
Much of the anxiety you feel on your wedding day comes from fear of the unknown. Most of us have never walked down the aisle at our own weddings before, and have no idea what to expect. This may freak out even the most Zen groom or bride. But if you make a plan for the walk, you'll be better prepared. If it's helpful, schedule a ceremony rehearsal a day or two before your wedding. Maybe it’s as simple as planning what to do on your walk - making eye contact with your spouse-to-be and giving them a little wink, or focusing on your officiant, or having a secret signal with your MOH or Best Man. It’s all about feeling like you have a little more control over this unknown experience. Which is exactly what you need to walk down the aisle with clarity and confidence.
Just Breathe
Probably the most effective way to calm your pre-aisle jitters is something you do naturally: breathing! When we’re really stressed, many of us tend to hold our breath and forget to exhale. That or we take super shallow breaths. It’s part of our innate "fight or flight" response, but it can really increase our stress levels. When it’s about time for you to take your big walk, I suggest that you take three to five deep inhales and exhales. If you're walking with someone they can certainly join you. Visualize yourself bringing all of that calming energy into your belly and throughout your body, then exhale out all your tension. I promise that you’ll feel calmer and ready to walk down the aisle with confidence. If you don’t, take one or two more breaths. The wedding can (and will) wait.
Did any these tips work for you? Are there a few that resonated with you? Are you adding a few to your list? The comment section is always if you have questions or something to share. Or ladies, if you want to gather with a group of brides to validate these feelings and talk through identity and rites of passion, feel free to check out my Zen Bride Workshop.