How to be a Zen Bride or Groom
The wedding planning process may be an emotional rollercoaster. Therefore it’s even more important to be a Zen Bride or Groom. Finding calm to better handle the ups and down you may experience. For the most part, you’re making plans for a single day. Whether you’ve dreamed of your wedding day since you were a child or started envisioning what it could look like as you got engaged, there are lots of choices to make. There are also lots of opinions and lots of good intentioned friends and family.
I encourage couples to find ways to be relaxed and Zen under even the most stressful wedding planning situations. Here’s now you can become the queen or king of calm in five easy steps.
1. Take Time for You (& You Both)
Make sure you have dedicated time at least twice a week just for you. Use this time to sit in silence or take a walk in nature in order to empty your mind, and just focus on things that make you happy. What are the ways you like to relax? Whatever your outlet is, try and make time to do what you love every single week leading up to the wedding. Some couples find the wedding planning so stressful that they put their partner on the back burner. It’s a mistake that is so easy to make and simple to fix. Continue to spend quality time together leading up to the Big Day. This could be regular date nights or just being intentional about spending time together. Make sure to remove all distractions, so turn off your devices and just be present with each other!
2. Pick your Battles
Since there may be other people involved in the decision making process for the wedding, not everything is going to go your way. But once you learn the art of compromise, you’ll set yourself up for a much calmer wedding planning experience. It may just be easier to let your mom plan the rehearsal dinner especially if your priority is elsewhere. You may also experience some challenges around budget. You might not be able to afford that 10-piece band, but is there another that is comparable that’s also in your budget? Does your spouse to be want to write their own vows and you prefer to repeat after your officiant? Have a conversation with you partner so you know what you’re willing to compromise on and what’s non-negotiable. Once you’ve identified these, pick your battles accordingly.
3. Minimize the Negative and Embrace the Positive
We all have those friends or relatives who manage to bring drama wherever they goes. Try and keep your distance before the wedding and make sure you surround yourself with positive and supportive people. There will be set backs and disappointments. Your venue may not have your preferred date or your tie is the wrong shade of blue. I suggest you take the time to mourn and acknowledge the set back and then do your best to say “that was not meant to be” and then find something better or different. There’s a good chance that your first idea was just not meant to be. But in the bigger picture, some of the small things may not matter so much. I like to remind my couples, that if at the end of the day, you’re married, YOU WIN!
4. Stay Organized, Don’t Procrastinate & Delegate!
There are tons of wedding checklists and timelines online. Please know that those should be used as a guide, and they may not be YOUR checklist. Choose one as a template and then customize it for you. Write things down, create a spreadsheet and set notifications for deadlines. Hopefully you and your partner can also divide and conquer. But it needs to be clear what you’re responsible for and to be held accountable. As we know, there are lots of plans and lots of decisions. You may be waiting for vendors to get back to you. You may be waiting for a financial gift from a family member. So, don’t put things off that could can tackle now. The more you have done early, the more you can enjoy your engagement period. If you notice that your to-do list is super long, don’t be afraid to delegate some of the more menial tasks. Chances are you have a team of friends and family who’ll happily pitch in. All you need to do is ask. . If there was ever a time to call on favors, this is it!
5. Focus on Health
One of the first things we tend to let slip when when we’re overwhelmed is our health. We may stress eat or veg on the couch. Or maybe skip meals or forgo our gym routine. It’s important to make health your priority throughout the wedding planning process. Whether it’s eating well, getting enough sleep, moving the body and mind - healthy habits will help you better deal with stress and give you more energy.
Do any of these tips resonate with you? Is there one or two you want to try? Are there tips you have that are missing? The comment box is always open for thoughts and questions. And of course, if I can assist you in finding Zen for your wedding, just shoot me an email and let me know.