How to be a Zen Bride: PLAN FOR THE FUTURE
Wedding planning takes a lot of time and energy. Yes, it’s an important day to celebrate your union with those that are closes to you. But are you ready for the day AFTER your wedding? The wedding is special, but it's only one day. Marriage is hopefully for life. So I invite you to take a pause from creating welcome bags and choosing your fancy duds to plan for the future. In other words, prepare for your marriage. I promise that if you know what’s important to you both and feel empowered as a team, you will find Zen and ease as you plan your Big Day.
So what does planning for the future mean?
There’s a good chance that over the course of your relationship you discussed aspects of your future together. You wanted to make sure you were aligned for the long term before one of you proposed and the other said ‘yes.’ Therefore, you may have had a conversation about what was top of mind. Envisioning what your future looks like, and how it fits with the ideas your partner have.
It’s always a good idea to share your expectations of the relationship to see if they are similar or different from your partner's. Are there any questions you’ve yet to ask each other? Is there anything you’ve yet to share? I always say that this is a time in your relationship where you get a ‘pass.’ There may have been some things that you ‘should’ have shared or ‘should’ have asked but didn’t. You may feel that it’s too late. It’s not. Do it now!
Need some questions to get started? Try these!
1. Do you want to have children?
2. If we have children, would you be with me raising them according to my faith?
3. What does your dream career path look like?
4. What are the next large purchases you plan to make or save for?
5. How do you see our lives when we retire?
6. How involved will your family be in the family we create together?
7. Do you have any fears when it comes to our future?
Why is it important to discuss?
There is a vast difference between loving someone, and wanting to spend the rest of you life with them. In fact, you may want to spend your lives together, but have very different views about the future looks like. Or you may assume that what you envision, your partner wants, too. You remember what happens if you assume, right? Yeah, I thought so.
When you discuss the future and confirm you’re aligned, in turn you deepen your connection.
If you can decide where you want to live, how you may want to care for your elders as they older and how to combine your finances, you will definitely be able to settle on a menu for your wedding.
If you’re clear about the road ahead, you can create a plan. Having a direction will ease or eliminate stress and allow you both to enjoy the journey!
Do you need guidance?
So there are 2 ways I can help you as you plan for the future.
Premarital Counseling is a powerful way to strengthen your relationship and create expectations for your marriage. The future is full of unknowns and our relationships require more than love and good intentions. Unlike couples therapy, which usually tackles a problem in the relationship, premarital counseling aims to prevent potential challenges down the line. I work with couples individually both in-person in New York City or virtually anywhere in the world. I also host group workshops quarterly in Manhattan, as well as virtually through my collaboration with Bandit starting July 2021.
The Zen Bride gives brides-to-be an opportunity to breathe and recognize the amazing rite of passage from engagement day to wedding day. There’s something amazing when a group of women gather together and share their experiences and support each other.
During the half-day workshop you will:
Discuss our changes of identity.
De-stress with some mediation and yoga.
Share your stories.
Validate your feelings and emotions.
I guide these workshops one-on-one with brides, brides and their support circle, or on a quarterly basis I gather a group of brides together to celebrate the changes and better prepare for the future.
Are you ready to talk about your future together? Is there any fear or resistance? Does any of the suggestions resonate with you? The comment section is always open to share and question. I look forward to hearing your thoughts.