Making Decisions in The Relationship: A Collaborative Approach

We make THOUSANDS of decisions each and every day. For the most part these are very personal as they pertain to us as individuals. However, as you share your life with another, you begin to make choices that affect the other. Therefore, you need to take the other into account as you research and decide between options.

So how are decisions made in the relationship?

Making decisions is a crucial aspect in any relationship. It can strengthen the partnership if done mindfully or create tension, if not handled thoughtfully. How couples approach decision-making can significantly impact their connection and mutual understanding. But because we make so many decisions, we may be unintentional when considering the relationship or family as a whole.

Here are some strategies to consider when navigating this essential process together.

1. Open Communication

Effective decision-making starts with open and honest communication. Both partners need to articulate their thoughts, feelings, and preferences regarding various decisions, big or small. This may start with a little reflection and a whole lot of listening. If you regularly create opportunities for both partners to express themselves, it can foster a trusting environment where everyone feels heard.

2. Identifying Individual Values

Understanding each other's values can greatly enhance the decision-making process. Each partner should take the time to reflect on what is most important to them. You each bring your own life experience and perspective into the relationship. However, sharing what’s important to you allows for decisions to be more aligned in the long run. There’s a good chance if you want to spend the rest of your life with your partner, you have more shared values, than not. This usually reduces potential conflicts and enhances satisfaction in the joint outcome.

It’s also important to respect your differences. You are still both two individuals. Embracing these differences rather than resisting them can lead to richer discussions and stronger decisions. Recognize that diverse viewpoints can add depth to the decision-making process, often leading to better outcomes.

3. Collaborative Problem Solving

When faced with a joint decision, approach it as a problem to solve together, rather than as a conflict to win. This collaborative mindset encourages partners to brainstorm and discuss options openly. It also encourages compromise and flexibility. Each partner should feel comfortable proposing ideas and weighing the pros and cons collectively. Remember, the aim is to find a solution that respects both partners’ viewpoints.

Compromise is often essential in decision-making. It’s crucial to recognize that both individuals may need to adjust their needs and expectations. Flexibility allows partners to work through disagreements while still feeling valued. Finding a middle ground can lead to solutions that both partners can feel good about.

4. Setting Priorities

Not all decisions carry the same weight. It can be helpful to differentiate between minor and major decisions and prioritize them accordingly. For instance, choices about finances or living arrangements may require more in-depth discussions than what to have for dinner. However sometimes the latter is a more difficult decision to make! Understanding which decisions warrant more attention can streamline the process and reduce stress.

Once you know which decisions you need to make, it may be helpful to create timeline. Do you need to make a purchase or inform your landlord? How about make reservations or order dinner? Set a timer or create a notification so there’s time to research and consider, and a definite time when a decision needs to be made.

5. Establishing Decision-Making Roles

In some relationships, it may help to establish specific roles when it comes to decision-making. Take a moment to consider your strengths. Where do you have more skills or expertise than your partner? Would it make sense for one of you to lead the charge?

For instance, one partner might take the lead on financial decisions while another manages household issues. Assigning these roles can capitalise on individual strengths and streamline decisions, provided both partners agree on this approach.

Moving Forward

Making decisions together is fundamental to any healthy relationship. By prioritizing communication, understanding individual values, and fostering collaboration, couples can navigate decision-making processes more effectively. How do you make decisions in your relationship? Are small decisions easier than big ones? Do you have roles or does one of you tend to lead?

Ultimately, successful decision-making not only resolves immediate issues but also strengthens the bond between partners, fostering a sense of teamwork and shared purpose. The comment section is always open to ask and share. And of course, if you need more guidance here, do not hesitate to reach out!