5 MORE Reasons to do Premarital Counseling
Did you recently get engaged? That’s awesome! I’m sure you’re looking at some timelines and an ever-growing list of wedding planning tasks. I encourage you to take a moment to consider adding premarital counseling to the top of the list. Sure, as a premarital counselor I am HUGELY biased. But it’s a great way to plan for the future, and a great reminder of what you’re celebrating.
I wrote this post a few years ago with some reasons to do premarital counseling. Here are five MORE benefits to digging deep with your partner before you say “I do.”
1. Improving The Way You Communicate
Premarital counseling is a great opportunity to address any communication issues you and your partner have now. It’s actually the first thing we cover in counseling. Being more open to both sharing and listening as you are open to change. Learning how to share your emotions, listen to your partner, take accountability, and ask for what you need are difficult things to do. Premarital counseling provides tools to do so more effectively without blaming and being clear in your requests.
2. Setting Up Relationship Expectations
We all have expectations about relationships and about marriage. But often we don’t know what they actually are. Or they do not become apparent until they are not met. It’s important to talk openly about what you expect in your marriage. It allows you and your partner to create a satisfying marriage together and establish a shared sense of understanding and commitment.
3. Identifying Potential Problem Areas
I constantly hear from my couples that they would never have the conversations we have in premarital counseling if I didn’t suggest them. I use what I call The Big Issues to see what resonates with each and every couple. The more information you have about potential problem areas, the more proactive you and your partner can be about managing them. And of course, that’s where the conversations start!
4. Discussing Short and Long Term Goals
In your relationship, you’ve started to go from ME to WE. That means the decisions you make don’t only affect you. While you are planning a wedding, you are also planning your future together. Premarital counseling provides the space to discuss both short and long term goals, making ideas about the future more concrete and tangible. We can also brainstorm ways to reach those goals and so you can move forward as a team.
5. Learning New Things About Your Partner
When I ask my couples how they know if premarital counseling is effective, the response I hear most is learning new things about the other. It should come as no surprise, but there is always more to learn about your partner. It could be about their past, a belief they have or perhaps something they’re excited about for the future. Premarital counseling provides a unique opportunity for you and your partner to learn and grow together. It cultivates curiosity and a sense of adventure, establishing a positive foundation for the marriage.
Do any of these resonate with you? Are any of these a sticking point with you and your partner? Or have you already been able to discuss fully? If you need guidance anywhere along the way, please reach out and let me know!