8 Important Things to Remember Before Your Wedding Ceremony

photo by Justin McCallum

While a lot of thought and planning goes into the wedding reception, the wedding ceremony is usually the first thing on your timeline. You may want something short & sweet or a more complex cultural or religious ceremony. But either way, you’ll want it to be a special and memorable moment, as the ceremony grounds the day. To make sure it all runs smoothly, don’t forget these 8 things as you plan your wedding ceremony.

1. Choose the Right Officiant

It's really important to make sure that the person performing your wedding ceremony is authorized to do so. But it’s really more than that. As a wedding officiant, I know I am hugely biased. Many couples ask a friend or a family member since they may be charismatic or know the couple well. However the officiant is the one who truly guides the ceremony. Do you want someone who’s never performed a ceremony before to be responsible for yours? Just as there are plenty of photographers and DJs, there are also lots of officiants. It’s important to choose one that makes you feel comfortable and can best tell your story or create the ceremony you want.

2. Write Down Your Vows

In my 10 years officiating, I’ve only had 2 grooms who spoke their vows with no notes. If you are reciting personal vows, I highly encourage you to write them down. Nerves are a very real and once they kick in, it may be hard to express your thoughts. If you want your vows to be more organic, feel free to jot down a few notes on a small card. In any case, if you are not sharing your vows with each other before your Big Day, please let your officiant or a trusted friend read them to make sure they are of equal length and intensity. Of course, if you don’t know how to even start, check out this guide.

3. Include a Ceremony Program

Programs are great so that your guests can be informed about the day and the timeline. There may also be things that you want to include in the ceremony, but don’t have time. The ceremony program is a wonderful way give a shout out to the wedding party, honor deaseased relatives, explain any customs that may be unfamiliar and add a reading if your guests will be reciting together during the ceremony.

4. Don’t Forget Your Marriage License

If you don’t have your marriage license, the officiant is not required to perform your ceremony. Most officiants will go ahead with it, but will not be able to pronounce you married. You will then be required to obtain a license as soon as possible, and then with your witnesses meet up with you officiant. Just know, the date on the license--and therefore your legal date of marriage--is when the license is signed, not the date of your beautiful ceremony.

5. Make Sure to Eat

Forgetting to eat on the wedding day can heighten emotions, even creating stress and anxiety for the couple and everyone around them. We can all get hangry from time to time, but you probably don’t want to on your wedding day. Therefore I encourage you to make sure meals or snacks are scheduled on the timeline. And if you need to order food to be delivered, make sure that’s done and paid for in advance.

6. Choose Water over Alcohol

You can’t have enough water the morning of the wedding. You’ll be sweating, dancing, and perhaps sipping champagne or scotch as you get ready. Water is key to looking good and not feeling sick during the ceremony. While it’s certainly celebratory to have a cocktail with your favorite people, you also want to remember the day. If you are concerned that you will grab another bubbly and forget to drink water, ask your catering team, your planner/coordinator or a trusted friend to keep you both hydrated.

7. Visit the Restroom

Even if a bride or groom normally doesn’t have to 'go' that often, wedding jitters may change that. If you are drinking a ton of water the morning of the wedding, it’s probably good to go to the bathroom before you get dressed. Especially if the dress or suit is intricate. It doesn’t hurt to also go right before the ceremony. The last thing you want on your mind during your wedding ceremony is that you have to pee. And for those of you wearing a long dress with a train, it may be helpful to practice how you are going to use the restroom ahead of time, and if you need help from some friends or family members.

8. Unplug the Ceremony

In all of my ceremony drafts, I put an announcement at the top of the ceremony reminding guests to put their phones and cameras away. It’s important for friends and family members to be present for the couple, as well as allow the professional photographers and videographers to do their jobs without people getting in their way. I have had couples who are okay with their guests taking photos. In these cases, I usually just request that they stay out of the aisle, so the professionals can get the shots they need.

Any of these tips resonate with you? Any that I didn’t mention that may be helpful? If there’s anything I can do to assist as you prepare for marriage and the wedding, please don’t hesitate to reach out and let me know.