Checklist for the Wedding Ceremony
A legal wedding ceremony in the United States is super simple. What’s required is the Declaration of Intent and a Pronouncement of Marriage. What makes it more exciting and unique are some elements that speak to your story and what matters to you and your partner. As a wedding officiant, I love dreaming big with my couples, and then finding ways to make their ceremonies personal to them. Here’s a checklist of things that I talk through with each of my couples, as I prepare and draft their ceremony.
Processional
Who is walking down the aisle? Will there be music? Will someone present or support you or your partner? Sometimes couples may choose to enter and come to the alter together. Other couples prefer something more informal and skip the processional altogether. If you decide you do want a processional, feel free to research order and talk logistics with a wedding planner or day-of coordinator, you have one. Music during the processional is a great way to show your personal style and create the environment you want. You can always use an iPod and ask a friend to press play. But if you brought a DJ or some musicians on board, take time to brainstorm options with them!
Marriage Address
The officiant welcomes everyone, talks about love, the meaning of marriage and can even tell your story, if you want. You can honor family members and people who have traveled and acknowledge loved ones who are no longer living or who couldn’t attend. Is there anything important to your relationship that you want to share? Talk with your officiant about how you envision your ceremony. More than likely they will guide you through here.
Readings
Readings provide another way to show your personality and interests. Do you want anyone read a poem or literature? A piece of scripture to honor your faith or have a family member or friend give a speech. I’ve had couples surprise each other with a poem, as well as have friends give small speeches if time was tight during the reception. In a recent wedding, there were song lyrics that resonated with a couple, and we wound up doing a simple sing-out with the guests. Feel free to think creatively here.
Vows
While vows are not legally required I think they are hugely important. The wedding ceremony is a great opportunity to share something that you promise to you partner as you stand in front of the people that care for you the most. They can hold you accountable. Do you prefer to say more traditional vow? Or would you rather write your own vows? Discuss this with your partner. If you do want to write your own vows, but don’t know where you start, I’ve got a blog post for you!
Ring Exchange
Again, it’s not required to exchange rings, but it’s certainly traditional. Are you exchanging rings? Or would you prefer to exchange something else? Do you want to say a simple phrase during the exchange? Or be prompted by your officiant and place the rings on each other’s finger in silence?
Recessional
Besides the two of you, will anyone else be walking back down the aisle? Even with an informal ceremony, I encourage a recessional as it marks the ending of the ceremony. And don’t forget about music here. It’s a great way to transition into whatever comes next in your day!
If you have any thoughts or questions, feel free to share in the comment section below. I’m always happy to talk more in-depth, especially if you’re having a friend or family member officiate. Feel free to reach out if you need assistance with your ceremony!